A lot of people have been asking me if my girls are getting along any better. As I’ve written about previously , it’s been a tough go. There was no “Mommy can I help with that diaper?” or moments made up of me breastfeeding while reading A a lovely storybook. There was a point in my very near memory when I could not leave them alone together, because A was so rough with her sister. In her defense, because I love this kid to the moon and back (and she may read this one day, love you first born!) she was only 20 months when her permanent visitor entered the scene, so she was not into sharing, and was barely able to string three words together. This made it hard to say “Mommy, I’m jealous of this bald stranger” or “play with me not her”.
So if you’re in this position, you are not alone, older sibs do always like the newbie. Sometimes this strong dislike lasts 16 months. Because… wait for it… in the last few weeks there’s been a bright light at the end of the tunnel! My husband went away AGAIN ( I know what you’re thinking, wife of the year right?) a few weekends ago, and it went surprisingly well! In fact, I am going to say we had a quite a lovely girls weekend. Sigh. Remember when ‘girls weekend’ meant
cheap beer boozy cocktails and midday wake-ups? Now it means waffles at 6:30am (A pronounces waffles “awfuls” with a serious face) and park dates by 7:30am. The date was with myself. And my kids. But this time, A was playing with L and they were having so much fun. Now I know what people mean when they say “it gets easier with two”. A runs around and L waddles after her but now, she’s not getting slapped (well sometimes but they are still sisters right?) she’s being helped up the slide (yes they often just want to go up) and asked to swing. It took 16 months, but goddamn it’s heartwarming. These are the sorts of things they like to do together:
I was hungover for the first time in 16 months when I let A paint her sister. No judgment.
Today they played in A’s room quietly and not once did I have to run in and scold and/or comfort someone. They snuggle up in bed together, hug each other in the morning, and A even yells “get away from my sister bee” at bees that fly near L. We have rounded the bend! Once again it has been helpful for me to remember “this too will pass”. I am so happy for them, to have a sister (at least in my case) is wonderful, amazing, the best gift you can get. A best friend who also gets your crazy-ass family (because they all are, you know it) and is beside you forever. Hooray for sistas!
Ps- When A is angry lately she has been calling me “adorable” in her really loud angry voice. She thinks she’s saying horrible. It’s really, really hard not to laugh. Peace out.